The woman who does my waxing likes to ask me about working for a church.
The first time she tore a strip off me (ha ha) she launched right into how she’s in the midst of overcoming spiritual skepticism. She explained how she’s knee-deep in working through A Course In Miracles and wanted to know if the teachings were actually parallel to the messages we get on Sunday mornings (yes, and also kind of, and also not really, and also hell no, all depending on who you ask).
On Friday, as I lay there under her non-judgmental gaze, we discussed the pros and cons of spending $75 to go and see Gabby Bernstein (aka the new #spiritjunkie herself) at our go-to yoga studio.
I — obviously the financially spontaneous one — spent the money the moment the workshop opened up.
“You should do it,” my husband said. So, without needing further persuasion, I gave myself an early Christmas present.
My wax-artist, on the other hand, wanted to do more youtube-ing first.
“She might really annoy me,” she proclaimed. “Then again, if she does, that’s totally my own problem and she’d probably be great for me.”
It was a profound moment to experience with a woman who was inflicting pain on me, but it was all very Oprah. I was like, “oh my gosh, right? It’s always about our own issues.”
Sure, sometimes the temperance in someone’s voice makes me cringe, but for the most part, if your well-being annoys me, it’s because I don’t feel like mine is up to snuff.
If I’m angry because your blog is featuring yet another smoothie bowl recipe, it’s because I’ve never in my life made a smoothie bowl and I’m feel crappy because of it. If your zen facial expression make me want to take up kick boxing, that’s because I’ve had six coffees and can’t keep my face still for the life of me. If you’re someone who hums on public transit and for whatever reason I’m annoyed by you, it’s only because I left my headphones at home and can’t get a Justin Beiber song out of my head.
As Gabby Bernstein would say, the light (or darkness) you see in others is merely a reflection of the light or darkness you see within yourself.
In other words, you are your own problem and you are your own solution.
In the age of over-sharing, chiming-in, and loud personal beliefs we don’t have to try hard to find people obnoxious. What we need to do is try hard to see people as human. Try hard to see people as worthy. And try hard to see people as we hope to see ourselves — imperfectly working towards something bigger, something meaningful, and something worth putting ourselves out there for.
Their intention is not our problem.
Needless to say, I tipped her well.
I have never been that inspired without my pants on before.
P.S. This week’s Infonews column is posted & it’s all about why it’s not the worst thing in the world to have a past on social media. You know, that one picture your boss probably shouldn’t see from when you were 16. You can read it HERE.