56 Things To Do When Being Single Seems Sucky


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It seems like the season of young, fleeting, wild, & insurmountable “love” has had a change of heart this year.  Perhaps it’s because I’m living amidst a community of people who are all attempting to maintain long-distance relationships, perhaps it’s because I myself failed to maintain said long-distance relationship and pulled my hat out of the ring, or perhaps it’s because I’ve simply reached the age where people are very adamant that if it doesn’t look like it’s going to last forever the solution is to end it today.  Whatever the reason may be, I seem to be surrounded by a lot of broken hearts.

There’s a chance that I listened to the song “Strawberry wine” too much in my teenage years and just assumed that every summer would be a casual tidal wave of late-night skinny dipping and romantic truck bed picnic’s, but whatever the reason my expectations of summer flings is as high as it is, I always forget the counter-part.  That is: the reason summer romances exist is because real-life romances are more work and occasionally sucky.  Summer ends.  People go back to where they came from, and you get to sit at home on a dismal October day and write terrible country songs about the one that got away.

Real-life romance (if you’re lucky enough to believe in such a thing) is different.  And when it ends, there’s no “It was perfect, Oh, what could have been!”  There’s a lot of pros and cons.  There’s a lot of “fuck you’s” and “I’m sorry’s” and there’s a lot of nights you spend just lying there trying not to think about anything.

So, for all my girls (and you know who you are) who are dealing with the fall-out of “real romance” this summer, this is for you.

1. Put on full bum underwear.  

2. Wake up to watch the sunrise.

3. Sleep in full pajamas. 

4. Listen to Lana Del Ray while lying on the floor staring at the ceiling.

5. Stay up reading in bed until 3am, relishing in the fact no one is tossing and turning beside you.

 6. Blast music from the 90’s.  Dance like a fool.  Repeat.

7. Buy your favorite flowers & instagram the shit out of them.

8. Watch 12 episodes of Sex and the City in a row.  Feel better about your life and start talking like Carrie (“And I couldn’t help but wonder, was this entire relationship just practice?”)

9. Wear fluffy socks.

10. Have a three-way Skype date with your girls, even if they live just down the road.

11. Watch YouTube videos of Stevie Nicks sing “Dreams”

12. Play with a puppy.

13. Take a directionless walk by yourself, listening to whatever makes you happy (the Hercules soundtrack?  You know I doooo)

14. Call your Mom.

15. Make a fresh fruit salad and eat it outside.

16. Or, order a Cheeseburger with bacon.  At 3am.

17. Patio drinks.

18. Attempt to meditate.

19. Buy a stuffed animal and spoon it all night long.  (Don’t forget to name it.)

20.  Listen to Paul Simon. 

21. Print out your favorite photos of you and your friends.  Keep them in your line of sight.

22. Remind yourself it’s totally possible you could now end up with a legitimate real-life prince.

23. Learn all the words to a really ghetto rap song. Make sure you change any words that might make you uncomfortable.  Like I did.

24. Do ten push-ups.  Tell yourself you worked out hard.

25. Adopt an accent for a day.

26. And a new name.

27. Might as well change your hair, too.

28. Attempt to write poetry.

29. Have a seance and ask Audrey Hepburn what she would have done.

30.  Make a vlog that no one should ever see. 

31. Ask your Dad for life advice.

32. Mail a love letter to your BFF.

33. Make a romantic dinner for one.

34. Eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s for dessert.

35. Wink at a stranger.

36. Let him kiss you later.

37.  Go home with him, if you want.

38.  Give him a fake number so he’s one less thing you have to have on your mind.

39. Talk to God.  Maybe it’s been a while.

40. Sit in your car with the windows up and scream as loud and as long as you damn well please.

41. Have a bubble bath and a bottle of wine.

42. Don’t ever stop shaving your legs.

43. Put on your fake eyelashes to do laundry.

44. Google “cat beards”

45. Donate blood.

46. Sing in the shower.

47. Blow bubbles.

48. Take a new profile picture.

49. Draw pictures in the stars.

50. Start reading your horoscope.

51. Paint your nails slowly and let them dry properly.

52. Change your phone number.

53. Buy new bed sheets. 

54. Write a love note in lipstick on your mirror.

55. Cry yourself to sleep.

56.  Wake up smiling.

xo & yw


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