Cut the Crap.

Two turkey dinners & four nights of slightly over-indulging in the alcohol industry have left me (& my closest friends) feeling a little… down and out.  Down being our energy and Out being our protruding bellies.  I went dancing with a group of friends last night and moved ferociously, in a jealous rage (and in an attempt to burn calories), as the boys talked about “Bulking up” for the winter.  Why is it that they get to bulk up during the most delicious season and us girls are expected to continuously slim down, straight through the 17 servings of Pumpkin Pie and Champagne? & more importantly, what can we do about it if we’re not willing to give up said pie & bubbles?  “Cut the Crap!” as my Dad always says.  Except this time, in reference to life and not my amazing skills at bull shitting.

A handful of late night texts with a girlfriend were the start of a game plan.  “Yoga every morning at 6am!”  Excellent theory.  Excellent, excellent theory.  Theory.  I’m not sure exactly how much sleep one needs in order to be able to wake up that early every single morning, not to mention how much water one must consume between 5-6am to not faint during sunrise Bikram, but I can assure you, both of these are numbers I haven’t quite pinned down. 

Instead of torturing ourselves through mean detox regimes and “Paris Hilton” diets (as my friend Santina & I call them), instead of forcing ourselves to run 5km every morning when for the past two years around the block has been more our style, instead of stocking up on herbal laxatives and new multi-vitamins … why don’t we just rip a page out of good ol’ Dad’s book and cut the freaking crap!?

One, two, three baby.  That’s all it takes.  Three words, three steps & the pie won’t permeate your spirit any longer!  It’s not about your hips it’s about your health.

1.  Throw out the processed goodies and put down the bottle for a week and watch energy levels shoot sky high as your body gets to do it’s job, without having to constantly make up for your abuse. 

2.  Get 20 minutes of excercise each day and rest easy in the fact that yes, 20 minutes is enough to boost your booty into the feel good zone, no need to run all the way around Stanley Park and risk not being able to move for another two years. 

3.  Smile in your liver (Eat, Pray, Love reference…anyone?  no?) and allow happiness to radiate around you instead of that asshole, stress.  In other words?  Slow down and smell the roses.  Literally.  They’re all about to die.

I’m not saying this is a ‘no-fail’ recipe to not eat too many mashed potatoes and pass out in front of the Television before you go for a walk in the leaves, but it’s worth a shot if you’re thinking about trying all that other stuff (said 10km run, herbal laxatives et starvation central), at least this way you can (kind of) have your (non-processed ingredients) cake and eat it too.

What’s your ‘cut the crap’ week gonna look like?

xo & yw

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